WARE WINE & BEER CIRCLE

WINE HUMOUR

A page dedicated to humorous aspect of home-brewing and the appreciation of wine and beer! If anyone has anything suitable that could be included here, then please send them to the .

JUDGES COMMENTS AND WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN

Good Presentation OK you can polish a bottle - now please work on your winemaking
Good Head and Condition Shame about the taste
Thin Use more fruit next time, you tight-fisted ********
A touch aggressive on the palate I choked on this one
Peppery Needed a pint of water afterwards
Slightly Over-acid Burnt a hole in the showbench
Good Farewell Sorry to say goodbye to this one
Lacks body If you used real fruit you'd get a few insects as well
Cloying Stuck my lips together
Harsh palate Stripped the roof of my mouth off
Acetic Best with chips
Strong hop farewell Parting was such bitter sorrow
Full-bodied Got me quite excited this one
Well-balanced I could still stand afterwards
Harmonious assemblage I want to marry this one
Gorgeous I get a bit affectionate after 36 after dinner wines
High alcohol Try using it as paint stripper
Chemical flavours Recommend you use for clearing the drains
Out of class What part of dry don't you understand
Infected So my steward tells me - I didn't dare taste it
Medicinal flavours Reminded me of the cough mixture I had as a child

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A cartoon that relates to both wine and computers!
Wine Server Cartoon

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A humourous tale of beers around the world, provided by Colin Bull

At a world brewing convention in the States, the CEOs of various brewing organizations retired to the bar at the end of the day's conferencing.
Bruce, CEO of Fosters, shouted to the barman: "In 'Strailya, we make the best bloody beer in the world, so pour me a Fosters, mate."
Bob, CEO of Budweiser calls out next: "In the States, we brew the finest beers of the world, and I make the king of them all - gimme a Bud."
Hans steps up next: "In Germany ve invented das beer. Give me un Helles, ze REAL King of beers."
Jan, chief executive of Grolsch follows by stating that Grolsch is the ultimate beer and asks for one with two fingers of head on top.
Norman, chairman of SAB, steps forward: "Barman, give me a diet coke with ice and lemon, please".
The other four stare at him in stunned silence, amazement written all over their faces.
Eventually Bruce asks: "Are you not going to have a Castle, Norm?"
Norman replies "Well, if you pansies aren't drinking, then neither am I".

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Last updated: 20/07/16
Copyright: 2001 WWBC