A page dedicated to humorous aspect of home-brewing and the appreciation of wine and beer! If anyone has anything suitable that could be included here, then please send them to the .
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JUDGES COMMENTS AND WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN |
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| Good Presentation | OK you can polish a bottle - now please work on your winemaking |
| Good Head and Condition | Shame about the taste |
| Thin | Use more fruit next time, you tight-fisted ******** |
| A touch aggressive on the palate | I choked on this one |
| Peppery | Needed a pint of water afterwards |
| Slightly Over-acid | Burnt a hole in the showbench |
| Good Farewell | Sorry to say goodbye to this one |
| Lacks body | If you used real fruit you'd get a few insects as well |
| Cloying | Stuck my lips together |
| Harsh palate | Stripped the roof of my mouth off |
| Acetic | Best with chips |
| Strong hop farewell | Parting was such bitter sorrow |
| Full-bodied | Got me quite excited this one |
| Well-balanced | I could still stand afterwards |
| Harmonious assemblage | I want to marry this one |
| Gorgeous | I get a bit affectionate after 36 after dinner wines |
| High alcohol | Try using it as paint stripper |
| Chemical flavours | Recommend you use for clearing the drains |
| Out of class | What part of dry don't you understand |
| Infected | So my steward tells me - I didn't dare taste it |
| Medicinal flavours | Reminded me of the cough mixture I had as a child |
A humourous tale of beers around the world, provided by Colin Bull At a world brewing convention in the States, the CEOs of various brewing organizations retired to the bar at the end of the day's conferencing.
Bruce, CEO of Fosters, shouted to the barman: "In 'Strailya, we make the best bloody beer in the world, so pour me a Fosters, mate."
Bob, CEO of Budweiser calls out next: "In the States, we brew the finest beers of the world, and I make the king of them all - gimme a Bud."
Hans steps up next: "In Germany ve invented das beer. Give me un Helles, ze REAL King of beers."
Jan, chief executive of Grolsch follows by stating that Grolsch is the ultimate beer and asks for one with two fingers of head on top.
Norman, chairman of SAB, steps forward: "Barman, give me a diet coke with ice and lemon, please".
The other four stare at him in stunned silence, amazement written all over their faces.
Eventually Bruce asks: "Are you not going to have a Castle, Norm?"
Norman replies "Well, if you pansies aren't drinking, then neither am I".
